Dear Editor,

Dear Editor, Why us? What did Kewaskum do to become hexed with deviant state representative and school board member Timothy Ramthun? Did one of our neighbors besmirch a goat? Did an unwitting Kewaskumite disturb a pharaoh’s tomb? Did one of you visit a fortune teller and set off a series of self-fulfilling prophecies that led to this calamity? I’m sure Tim can find a conspiracy theory